Dresscapades

Where will you start?

by around October, I had christened 2014 the year of rejection. And like most, I handled this rejection by wallowing in it, wondering what I’d done to deserve to be cast aside, and then reluctantly dragging my feet onward.

In the original version of this post, I spoke at length about my year and all the things that would have me dub it the year of rejection. I’ve decided to save you the… pitifulness and get to the crux of the thing. Let’s fast forward to December when things began to look up. Did you know that when you look up you see things a bit more clearly?

pullquote-LLOCOTjan

in 2014, I agonized over the lack of a job and not just any job but one in my incredibly competitive field. Joblessness rendered me purposeless, inexperienced, and uninteresting. I felt lost and I was so so bored. So when I got a temporary job in medical communications… close to my field, it was hard for me to find the purpose for the time I would spend there. My passions were becoming stale and there didn’t seem to be a readily available outlet. I was—what I felt most of 2014—stuck.

So I prayed and prayed, fasted and prayed, put some much needed TLC into Dresscapades. I applied for work and sent plenty of cold emails. I soon found rejection and silence interchangeable. I underestimated how simple it is to get a person—close friend or stranger—to respond to a friggen email!

One day, mid-December, I went to work and peacefully so. Everyday that week I came home defeated, my talents didn’t shine at work, I began to think I wasn’t as good as I once thought. I even questioned whether I’d been “aiming too high.” And that day I got an email from HR at reputable publisher where I’d applied for five or so positions and interviewed for two. Long story short: I landed a job, things began to look up, and then 2014 came into focus.

Sometimes we hunt for a particular piece of a puzzle when the picture was beautiful long before the puzzle piece was found. Things came into focus the last week of December with a seemingly insignificant moment. I was packing up to go to my sister’s and grabbed 3 bottles of perfume (couldn’t choose just one) leaving behind another 3 bottles. One of my dreams for a long time had been to have multiple scents and I would pick accorrding how I was feeling or the whether. However, cash flow has never been consistent. And here it was in front of me, a desire I had long wanted and didn’t even realize had been realized.

2014 was a tough year in ways but so many wonderful things happened in my life. New opportunities and new friends. Dresscapades may not have the following that my favorite blogs do but, working on this concept since 2010, I’ve never been more proud of it! And sure I didn’t have money like I hoped to but so many people supported me and gave to me; almost all of it unwarranted, undeserved. In 2014 I got a Masters degree in Publishing and Writing. I got a camera and the tools necessary to pursue my blogging dreams. I got a car (a beautiful car I named after Lena Horne) that I would need to get me to a job that perhaps wasn’t where I wanted to be but got me out of the house and a paycheck every week. 2014 wasn’t what I wanted but it was what I needed to prep me for a challenging but rewarding 2015.

When I left my temp job, there was no one there to say bye. And the week had been strange; I felt a tension in the air that told me I wouldn’t really be missed. Reluctantly moving on when you feel pushed out the door is a familiar and painful feeling for me. I’m often tempted to push back and ask what I did wrong and what I can do to make them appreciate me. This time, it was different. Not only was I going somewhere but I knew where I’d been in 2014 wasn’t where I was intended to stay. Gaining perspective even at the eleventh hour has allowed me to look back on 2014 with pride and gratitude. I’m thankful to God that even when I felt abandoned, He put something in my life—be it a camera, or car, or a friend, a mentee—some tool to help me realize my purpose more and more.

For 2015, and this is no resolution but merely a shift in focus we should consider onward, I implore you to always look up because there lies the bigger picture. It’s so much easier said than done, and far simpler concept than I would’ve offered as final thought for 2014 and a first thought for 2015, but it’s so so important. Things happen for a reason, resisting it may mean putting off and/or resisting your life’s purpose.

God Bless and cheers to newer heights in 2015. LLOCOTborder_jan

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